weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life