We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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