If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...