I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
