Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something