So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌