Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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