You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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