I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize