i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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