I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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