I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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