So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
