who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
