I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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