She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize