I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize