There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
