How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
