I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
