he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He felt like a one man threesome
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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