I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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