Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
