He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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