I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
