Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The air was thick with penises
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
