Duck Duck Cougar?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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