Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
