so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
