Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
