He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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