I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
