saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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