He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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