God, you're like boner-b-gone
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
