yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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