ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?