Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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  (202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth. http://tfl.nu/s0yv
  Replies (25) Good night (2052) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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  (519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. http://tfl.nu/7rdg
  Replies (12) Good night (3433) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours

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  (610): there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours http://tfl.nu/tvxl
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (2675)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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  (847): hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score?? http://tfl.nu/pp8r
  Replies (146) Good night (1013) Bad night (5001)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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  (914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj
  Replies (39) Good night (1041) Bad night (5503)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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  (678): We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine. http://tfl.nu/3sll
  Replies (29) Good night (887) Bad night (4166)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6343) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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  (+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (3066)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV

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  (478): IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV http://tfl.nu/p33s
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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  (404): When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012? http://tfl.nu/cat9
  Replies (12) Good night (1690) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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  (215): It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater. http://tfl.nu/563x
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

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  (217): turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder http://tfl.nu/r034
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"

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  (717): They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail" http://tfl.nu/whag
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (214)

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