i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sex in a hospital.. check
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
