he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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