come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
