Whod you bang
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
