Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
