I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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