I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
