I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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