I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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