when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
