it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you never un-have a 4some
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
