While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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