Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
