He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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