I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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