you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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