I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
