he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
