She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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