she woke up with a sticky ear
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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