I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
