i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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