they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
