I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
